Modern Family is about relations, it is about love, it is about acceptance, it is about growth and so many things- development, care, affection, humor, lessons, moments, festivals, countries, representation, equality, colors, races, maintenance, nerds, souls, aids, passions, breaking stereotypes. Basically, anything that adds color in our lives, and everything that makes the rainbow of emotions, Modern Family is about that whole spectrum.
The year is 2020, if you’ve had a bad year, watch it.
If you’ve seen it- watch it again, and here’s why:
1. Comic Timing and Delivery
Modern family is an amazing mockumentary based on situational humor and dialogues. Each character is blessed with the writers’ vision to be naturally and inherently hilarious. The bluntness and bland expressions with which heavy words, jokes, cracks, satires, and digs are delivered are worth every minute you will spend binging on it. The way how each character is completely clueless in their ways makes it all the more an interesting watch!
2. Representation
Gloria, played by the ethereal beauty Sofia Vergara, once says “Do you know how smart I sound in my language?”, and that hits really hard. Modern Family is a show that is inclusive and wholesome. Gender Equality, Sexual Orientation, Choices, Feminism, Age Bias Removal, Race representation, and Cultural mixes: Just a few of the things that Modern Family has covered- with pride and openly.
3. Lessons Learnt and Taught:
Remain unconventional (All of them), Do what makes you happy (Cam), Do not let the inner child in you die (Phil and Luke), Patience helps and perfection doesn’t (Gloria and Claire) and the whole emotional bandwidth. The entire collection is full of such sweet little nothings and many big lessons taught with ease. Each ending of an episode- gives you hope, learnings, lessons, and a relatability factor making the show as real as it is a dreamland.
4.Characters and their development:
A show is nothing if its characters don’t stand as pillars and pillars they are, and how for this one! The kids in the show have this beautiful journey from kindergarten to college, from being irresponsible teens to responsible parents, from being insecure about their looks to growing into confident and beautiful men and women, their growth has been captured so beautifully. If you have binged this show, the difference in the kids from the pilot episode to the finale, that transition makes you feel as if you have grown alongside them and as for those, like my own self, who have watched it as the seasons have progressed over the years, congratulations to all of us, we’re old! Lily’s sarcasm, Haley’s cluelessness and beauty, Manny and his ways, Alex and her nerdiness, Luke and his games, ideas, brains, actions, and Joe and his stories!
5.The MAIN CAST:
a. Claire Dunphy:
Crazy is an understatement, if one were to describe Claire’s personality! Claire, a mother of three, four actually – because her husband never grew up, wants the best for others, wants her kids, her younger brother, her family and everyone she cares about to learn from her mistakes and her wild past: but in most cases, she ends up doing the opposite! Claire is how wives and mothers these days are- she wants to be appreciated, heard, noticed and be given a break every once in a while! One fiercely loyal and protective woman, guards her cubs and has eyes on them, no matter what and where. Claire’s a difficult woman to please, she takes her time to open up to others and respect them and this is clearly shown in her relationship with Gloria and Haley’s one constant on-off partner, Dylan. She assumes the worst of Gloria, a beautiful and young lady like her must be a gold digger but eventually warms up to her, stands up for her, does things with her. Although, there still remains a little bit of jealousy, not of the money but the looks and attention she gets. With Dylan, she just didn’t want her daughter, precious little one, to end up making a mistake and have to marry or be partners with someone who isn’t well-off or who is irresponsible and has a constantly changing careers. However, by the end of the show, she accepts him as family, though doubts still remain, she does love him!
Claire is a boss-woman and a daddy’s girl! She starts her career again after being away for 15 years as her kids were growing up. Her career restart begins under her father and she ends up proving her potential there as well. Her relationship with Phil captures the little moments a marriage is made of, like rolling your eyes at your partner, wondering how will this day pass over- such sweet, adorable moments.
b. Gloria:
True Colombian! True American! Gloria has the best singing voice in the family, so much so that mics need to be hidden from her. Gloria shares one thing with Claire, having a wild teen and young adult life! However, unlike Claire, who was blissfully unaware of the struggles of bringing food on the table and the doubts of survival, Gloria grew up in a Colombian village with violence and deaths! She grew up stealing parts off cars, making ends meet and stealing her sister’s chance of coming to the States. She was a single mother, divorced from a toxic relationship and survived in USA by driving cabs and working at hair salons. It is her surviving her young-adult years with Manny, her first child whilst making ends meet, that she and Manny are a close-knit team. Her character is a loud, outspoken, unafraid expressive woman where whatever she feels is expressed not only through words, but also her voice, her hands, and her clothes. Gloria allows herself to fall carelessly into vanity, she makes people wait for her and goes to the extent stating that she likes being fashionably late and making an entrance. There are, however, moments where she digs deep and finds the time to connect to her roots, often getting disappointed by how “American” Manny and Joe (her second child, and first with Jay Pritchett) have become, and how she is unable to do all the physical labour she could easily do before she met Jay!
Her relationships with the kids of the house are worth mentioning as well. How she cries as Alex graduates and goes off to college- because she was the first person in the family to treat her as a person of the family, how she encourages Haley to speak her mind and stand up to her boss, how she spends time with Lily – almost smothers her because she wanted a daughter- paints her nails, braids her hair, and spends time with Lily as she figures out her identity. Gloria is a forgiving person, and it can be seen in how she forgives her ex-husband, Dede (Jay’s ex-wife), Claire and Mitch and everyone for everything. She likes to play dress-up but she is badass woman, who has contacts and is fearless in using those for her family, any member.
c. Cameron Tucker:
Mitch’s husband and Lily and Rexford’s father, Cam. A little extra, a little over-the-top character and a little louder than usual but all the more loving because of it. Cam grew up on a farm, and there are rarely situations where he doesn’t compare someone’s suffering to his own on the farm or where he doesn’t remember something – something outwardly and unbelievable- that happened on the farm. In addition to his farm-roots, Cam has an alter-ego: Fizbo, the clown at parties. Fizbo is a part of Cam and much to Mitch’s horror because he came to know about it after falling for Cam. To touch this open wound of Mitch’s, there are occasions where has tried to pass this off to Lily as well. Cam is an attention seeker, he thrives in attention and does all things possible to gain attention, appreciation and affection of people, even strangers he has just met, again, much to the dismay of his partner. While he is shown as someone who- loves the colour pink, has a larger than life attitude, gets nervous in front of male sexual attention, cannot run properly, shouts at a high-pitched voice, is obsessed with Meryl Streep (but then again, we all are!): he shows the Yang to his Yin side when it comes to muscle power, or coaching a boys football team, or protecting his family, specially his child. He breaks a role which could have been stereotyped by loving dress-up and rocking carpentry, he teaches music and is a clown literally, he could pass off as a gay best friend as shown in every 90’s show and movie and he could pass off as an actual, relatable member of the gay community. Cam lays eggshells around him of emotional breakdowns each time Mitch or Lily try expressing themselves. He gets easily hurt but he easily forgives, he takes up so much of emotional space that often times Lily makes snarky comments of not being able to have her breakdown!
Cam is a character that has flaws, he is insecure about his weight and that often is a result of Mitch’s mother Dede sending him the weirdest gifts which leads to him going on a crazy diet, where he throws everything unhygienic and gets scarier as days of the diet progress. He is a mother bear with Lily, a dude with Jay and a friend to Gloria and Phil. A character that had the best wedding in all of television history, leaving no one with dry eyes, Cam is effervescent and you cannot get enough of him.
d.Mitch:
Uptight but loving, not the first to help and not the last one either, mamma’s boy: Mitchell Pritchett in a few words. A lawyer who loves Britney, gay but yes, breaks the stereotypical clothing gays are “supposed” to wear- wears the dullest shades in greys, browns and blacks, fatherly yet cannot play ball or fix things or carpenter around the house. Mitch has a simple story, closest kid who transitions into being confident and feeling accepted by himself and his family- specially, his father. He is the only sane voice in the family- and someone needs to be calm with Pam (Cam’s sister) and Cam. He has a sweet relationship with all the three Dunphy kids, where he is the cool uncle, he has been babysitting them their whole life and now, expects love in return. Mitch has everyone’s back in the family, the most reliable person and only once in a while does he lose his temper and calm.
Mitch and Claire’s relationship in the show is nothing short of what brothers and sisters are- they hold childhood grudges, they stand up for each other, they cover for each other, occasionally talk behind each other’s backs, will wake up in the middle of the night to pick up the other’s call or to bail them or their child from the jail.
e. Jay:
You can have personal favourites in a show in which you love everybody: mine is Jay. He is the most humane of all characters in the show, and his growth and emotional development story is inspirational, if anything. Jay is a laid-back veteran. He was already a grandfather when he married Gloria, and occasionally it bothers him when his wife gets male attention or when he is unable to do physical activities in front of others or when people mistake his wife for his daughter. Jay, because of his old age and strict, emotionless upbringing, had difficulty in accepting Mitchell. And once he did that, he took a lot of time accepting Cam and opening up to him, or appreciating everything Cam does for the family. But to everyone’s amusement, the once ignorant Jay about other people’s feelings, the once rigid Jay who refuses to partake in gay marriages, funds the marriage of his son and his partner, becomes friends with all of Mitch and Cam’s gay friends.
For all his set-in-stone ways, for all his arrogance on being able to marry a catch like Claire- his humility lies in the efforts he puts into his job, the way with which he is afraid of his ex-wife but he respects her as the mother of their kids. Jay always comes around and speaks the wisest and most truthful things like when he appreciates that his ex-wife raised the kids alone because he was always working and that it takes two to break a marriage sometimes.
Jay shares the cutest, for lack of words that define adorable, relationship with Phil- which is a respect-don’t show too much appreciation of going back and forth in the aforementioned range. He, at the end of the series, is still opening up to Phil and letting him in. However, over the seasons he has shown great progress in letting Phil know he appreciates his loyalty and parenting, he didn’t like the fact that he eloped and married his daughter but comes around when he finally gets to walk her down the aisle, he has over the seasons let Phil choose activities, apologised to him, let him be the way Phil is, and asked his mates to respect him as much. Jay is a character that has flaws out in the open, there are moments he is constantly reminded of changing tides of time and how old he is, there are moments where he gives up on trying and then some where he wants to live more. His love for his children, his grandkids and his family, friends and his pet Stella show how with love, time, and the will to change- the toughest shells break to show all the mushiness hidden.
In an otherwise erratic, dreamy and troublesome family: Jay is the touch of reality and clarity.
f. The Great Phil Dunphy
I will say it for everyone that is out there- your favourite character and my favourite character is the same, and yes, it is Phil Dunphy! The greatest husband, father, son, brother-in-law, step son-in-law, step brother-in-law, friend, real estate agent, magician, fearer of clowns and possibly the best human!
i) With Claire:
Phil is an attentive husband, not to what she says, but to her needs, actions and towards her as a woman. He is patient: because Claire can be a little too much in her ways when she sets upon proving herself right no matter what, he is accepting: and there is a lot to process and accept, what with Claire’s competitiveness, her family, the proximity at which the family lives, her sarcasm and her annoyingly being right every single time, Claire’s over the top jokes and pranks and her obsession with Halloween! He forms a team with Claire against her family and relatives’ scrutiny, against her friends from high school and college, against their children- always standing together as one. It is one of the most beautiful things to have seen Phil allowing Claire the space and safety net that she can be comfortable, secure and her own self ALL the time!
I am coining this phrase, if it doesn’t exist- in which case I am thinking what have people been doing all this while, “The Phil to my Claire” because observing this marriage makes you want to have that! After all this time, 20 years of marriage, they both still want each other and desire each other. Their anniversary gifts are hilarious, yet romantic- the effort that goes in is so desirable, the way the both of them dress-up and indulge in role-play each valentine shows marriage has to be treated as a verb. His wife earns more than him, after him being in business for 20 years, his wife starts working and earns more and he stays at home and looks after the kids. He hasn’t for a moment been insecure, he hasn’t ever once called looking after his kids babysitting, he doesn’t count and consider these things – he just is himself and everyone around him can be themselves.
ii) With his father and Jay:
Loves his mother, has been friends with him his whole life and thus, wants the same with his kids specially Luke. His definition of cool and his unbeaten optimism is a product of his upbringing, specially his father, Frank.
With Jay Pritchett, Phil has the funniest, distant but to a viewer, a cute relationship. He tries hard for Jay’s approval, because he got Claire pregnant and eloped with her. Jay has a syndrome where no one is good enough for his daughter, specially Phil, like most fathers and unlike most sons-in-law, Phil doesn’t stop trying. He doesn’t let Jay’s mien bother his efforts, sure his mood gets deflated but it literally, takes him just a second to revive it. With Jay’s constant nays, sarcastic comments, disapprovals, ignorance and mockery of him. Phil finds it in himself to forgive Jay each time. Phil is a hugger and the Pritchett’s are not, but over time, on a few special occasions and each time Jay is grilled on being emotionless and unaffectionate, Phil gets his delayed and long overdue hugs from Jay. It’s been 20 years of their marriage, and Phil still tries to not only woe the daughter but even the father-in-law. Truly, the most lovable fictional character.
iii) Phil- The Cool Dad:
The best thing a father can do for his daughter is love her mother, truly said and shown in this show. Phil dotes over Claire. As a father, Phil is protective and hence each time he learns of Haley’s string of events in her past or things she has done, he asks twice, has an awkward reaction and the moment he comes to know of Alex’s sexual progress, as naturally it should be, he literally burns the meat on a griller. Phil wants to be friends with his children, correction, he thinks he is their friend and thus calls it Peer-enting and not parenting! All puns intended! He is playful, cheery and almost like a man-child when he is with Luke, trying out new ideas and showcasing new tricks. He wants to be the go-to person for Alex and Haley and hence tries to do plumbing and cleaning as ways to be there for them even when they leave the nest and go to their own places. His reaction to Haley leaving for college and then Alex, is slow but daunting for Claire who later realises, how deeply it affects him. Phil lets his children be who they are, he allows Luke his space and to connect better with his daughters and also because he simply is a friendly person- makes friends with all the boyfriends Haley brings along and tries hard to form connections with Alex’s boyfriends. Phil, in his own weird way, protects his kids and tries to maintain the cool yet concerned father, the technology savvy yet grounded father, and the know-it-all in texting father yet blissfully know nothing at all.
iv) Phil and the non-Pritchett’s the family tree:
Phil and Cam are brotherly, rarely seen alone together but the best dance partners there are! They’re both compassionate towards each other, help each other all the time. They have a mutual interest in books, racquetball and occasionally, like sharing how their spouses will react to situations if something was to not go their way.
Phil has a school boy crush on Gloria, I mean, who wouldn’t have? It remains evident in the initial seasons until they both warm up to each and get to know each other. Phil’s character is the most helpful one out of the lot, he teaches Cam to face his fears and stay strong, he teaches Gloria how to ride a bike, he tries to. He taught Gloria how to skate, at the expense of his pride, he kept her as an intern at his real-estate business and taught her the ins and outs of it. And when time came, he let Gloria go and make something of her own. He helped her find a buyer for her old condo which she shared with Manny, which he does sweetly, and gels along with all the ladies of that area.
Phil has been the outsider to the Pritchett ways for the longest and thus, knows a lot and shares it with warmth with Cam and Gloria. The three eventually form an alliance wherein one would cover for the other in tricky situations or in convincing their partners to do things their way. It is a very funny episode in the series where the three confess their love and hatred towards their spouses and how they twist things and put things in their partners’ subconscious to get their own way. These three are the dreamers and the Pritchett’s are the realists. Beautifully balanced and poignantly adorable, this family!
v) Phil with Mitchell and Manny:
With his accepting nature and mien, Phil simply accepts them for who they are- a gay Lawyer, human first and a breaking the manly stereotype teenager turning into an adult, as simple as it is. Motivating them occasionally, and sharing weird things of fandoms and comic-cons, Phil treats Manny not as a step-brother-in-law but as a child of the Pritchett Clan and Mitch as a respected, courageous individual.
vi) PHIL DUNPHY:
If “Love” was a person, it would be Phil. His unbeatable optimism, his forgiveness and unselfish care, his purity and his heart: beautiful things. Phil is a technology lover but fails at basic understanding of social norms and texting, he is impossible to lie to and easy to confide in, he blurts out accidental “double entendres” and behaves like a man-child who needs to be protected from the repercussions of his own ideas, he is loyal, accepting but occasionally throws a fit on being able to have a say in family matters or when family time is cut by others. His attention span lasts lesser than a minute but he does things constantly to get the warmth, love, attention and appreciation of his wife, kids and Jay. He constantly cracks real-estate puns widely ignored by his own family but wildly appreciated at real estate awards. He is ignorant but not with the intention of being so, he has accepted his family for who they are and their obsessions with particular traditions and festivals, Phil Dunphy is helpful, approachable and everything that humans need to be- pure, open, loud, loving, hopeful and harbouring their childishness to burst open and make the toughest times joyful.
